Bring on the New Year...can't be any worse than this one!

I've not posted in a while - I must admit it was a bit of a shock to the system going back to uni after 4 months of doing Not Very Much!

I started off doing really well - I was organised, I had 100% attendance on all classes (even the ones that were a waste of time) and I'd started planning my coursework and case studies.  And then it just all went a bit wonky somehow...

I'm not even sure how I've ended up back here.  Certainly I'm not feeling as bad as I was a couple of years ago, but in a way I feel like I've taken a big step backwards, when I was trying to look forwards.  But my depression and anxiety symptoms have both reared their ugly heads again, and it's forced me to take a time out.  To be fair, I think I've had a bit of a crappy year looking back - I spent the first 4 months ill (flu, tonsilitis, ear infection, tinnitus) and had to have an op to remove my tonsils, lost my first ever cat (even 7 months later, I'm still grieving - I loved him so completely, more than I ever thought possible), was diagnosed with PCOS and told they can't tell if I'm even ovulating (so my fertility is questionable, at best), and somehow came to the realisation that I was raped when I was 19...those are the things that spring to mind when I look back on this year.  So it's fair to say that I can't wait to get it over with!

South Beach Diet - Day 2

Ok, day 2 feels like it's gone a little better for me.  Still not got my routine down though - not had as much to eat as I'd hoped (now that seems like a strange thing to say when dieting!) due to yet another late start, so I'm feeling that I need to tackle this ASAP, because I'm starting to realise that I haven't had a proper routine for a while and have been allowing my stomach to dictate when & what I eat.  This could be part of the cause of my weight gain, and the increasing symptoms of my PCOS.  I feel like I had a "Eureka!" moment today when I noticed this.

Well, I started the day with my usual actimel probiotic drink - although I've had to switch to a fat-free version, and as I'm not allowed any fruits or fruit juices (only during phase 1, to get rid of those sugar cravings, which is fine cos I'm more of a veg person anyway) I figured I was better off with the original variety.

Then for breakfast I had turkey rashers & sliced tomato topped with mozarella - all grilled.  Verdict: winner!

Tried the veg juice again, this time on it's own - still not much better, after 2 hours I still had half a glass left so decided to chuck the rest away.  Verdict: binned.

For an afternoon snack, I had cubes of low-fat cheddar and some cherry tomatoes - very nice, filled a spot, but I felt like I needed more (or maybe that was due to my boyfriend stealing some of my cheese!)  Verdict: try again next time.

Dinner tonight was awesome! I was inspired by things I've had before, so I went for a chicken breast stuffed with goat's cheese & red pepper (I sliced the chicken breast across the top, in a butterfly style), tenderstem brocolli, spring greens, toasted pine nuts, roasted onion & red pepper slices (done in the oven with garlic and balsamic vinegar), plus a salad of rocket, lambs lettuce, celery, cucumber, cherry tomatoes & feta with a homemade balsamic dressing.  And here's the end result:

I might have overdone it with the toasted pine nuts, but they were so tasty and just seemed to bring the whole dish together - I was so pleased!  And I made a new discovery - I love spring greens!  I was a bit hesitant, but figured it was hightime I got out of my foodie comfort zone and tried something new - I had a nibble on a leaf before I cooked it, just to see what it'd be like and it tasted a lot like brussel sprouts, but once it was cooked it seemed to bring out a gentle sweetness that was just amazing!

For the salad dressing, I just mixed together a crushed garlic clove, balsamic vinegar, extra virgin olive oil and a little wholegrain mustard.  Very tasty.





Verdict on tonight's dinner: WINNER!

It was the right amount for me - filled me right up, I didn't have any cravings and only 3 hours later do I fancy having a snack.  Will most definitely be doing this one again!

Well that's it on progress so far - now I'm off to find a snack that will do me til morning :)

South Beach Diet - Day 1

Right, how did Day 1 go? Well, I probably didn't get off to the best start because I was waiting on my shopping being delivered - and that didn't arrive until lunchtime.

So besides getting up late and not having any food til late lunch, let's see what I did manage to do:

1st try of soya milk (unsweetened) - interesting! I thought I was as well to try it, because I can't have my usual semi-skimmed milk (can have skimmed only, or other low-fat milk alternatives), but I'm glad I only bought a small carton! It didn't taste too bad, but the smell was pretty strong and off-putting - very nutty, with a hint of cardboard, and reminded me too much of some funky rice pudding for me to enjoy it.  Verdict: binned.

My next new "buy n try" was vanilla protein powder. Sadly my first attempt at mixing it with something (vegetable juice - see below) was beyond yuck and put me off.  But I've realised I maybe just need to research it more, to get ideas of what I can do with it, and think it will probably be of more use to me at phase 2 - when I'll have more food choices.  Verdict: try again next time.

So onto the veg juice - I got some V8 to try, as it's recommended in the book to have a glass of vegetable juice every day.  I must admit, I was trying a shortcut by combining my breakfast & lunch options in one go (since it was getting on for 1pm) and somehow thought it would be good to try blending some of this veg juice with the protein powder.  I was wrong.  Very, very wrong! It was so horrible that after the first sip, I felt physically sick at the thought of having any more, so sadly it went down the sink.  Verdict: try again next time.

Finally I found a winning combo - turkey rashers, tomatoes and scrambled egg.  The main thing with the 1st 2 weeks is pretty much all carbohydrates are off-limits - that means no pasta, rice, potatoes or bread.  Which are all pretty much my staples - already I was missing my morning cereal, and it's only day 1! But the turkey rashers are yummy - I grilled 2 of them, along with 2 tomatoes, and scrambled 2 eggs on the hob.  Verdict: winner!

All this just for some breakfast!

Dinner went a little better - I'd had time to think, so was able to get a bit more creative.  I decided on pork medallions, marinated in soy, ginger & balsamic vinegar, accompanied with grilled asparagus & green beans, plus a side of butter beans in a tomato sauce (homemade - so no sugar or additives).  Unfortunately I didn't take a pic of this, but it was delicious and I will be doing this one again.  The only thing is I'd decided against doing a side salad, because my plate was beyond full with all those veggies piled on, but I was actually still hungry afterwards so really could have done with something more.  Verdict: potential winner, but needs work.

As a late-night snack I had some Greek yoghurt, with a little of the vanilla protein powder mixed in to help fill me up (my tummy was on the verge of rumbling again, since dinner didn't fill me up) and a handful of cashews.  Verdict: tasty.

Overall, I think once I got over the initial teething problems I did ok - but I didn't follow the diet rules as closely as I should have.  The whole idea of this diet is to level out blood-sugar levels by eating regularly, and I soooo didn't do that - so it's no wonder I didn't feel full.  I'm meant to have 3 full meals (breakfast, lunch & dinner), with 2 snacks and a dessert thrown in.  I only managed breakfast - actually more like brunch - and dinner, with a late-night snack.  I did finish the night with a hot chocolate - thankfully, I only use cocoa powder anyway for my hot chocolates, so it wasn't too much of a hardship for me haha! Instead of using sugar, I used fructose instead (fruit sugar) and added a little skimmed milk to the boiled water.  I think that could be my nightly treat!

South Beach Diet - The Start!

Alright, I said in a previous post that I hate "fad" diets.  That hasn't changed.  But I have been feeling that I need to change my routine up a bit, sort out my eating habits and I desperately want to lose weight.  So for inspiration, I read through the weight-loss post of my fave fitness blogger, Fitnessista - this chick is awesome, she always posts inspirational things and lots of pretty pictures about yummy foods etc, and she also managed to lose 40lbs a few years ago.  So I found her weight-loss post here, and I noticed that she mentioned the South Beach diet.

It's not one I'd heard of before, but I was interested enough from the things Fitnessista said to read up on it - and it actually sounded like the kind of thing I was looking for.  In a nutshell, it's not one of these diets that's designed to help you lose weight then that's the end of the story, you can go back to your old habits.  Here's what I like about it (without sounding like I work for their marketing team) - it was written by a doctor, has 3 different phases (phase 1 is the shortest, lasting 2 weeks & designed to kick-start your metabolism & get rid of cravings, then phase 2 is about slow & steady weight loss by making healthy food choices, then phase 3 is pretty much the rest of your life - according to the book, by the time you've reached your goal weight you should know what's good/bad so there's not really much in the way of what you can/can't have at this stage) and it's basically designed to teach you good eating habits you can keep up for life - definitely my kinda diet!

So now that I've explained my reasoning behind trying this diet, I'll be blogging about my progress - but not in a "You have to try this diet!" way, just really to see if it works and if anyone is interested in trying it out then it might give an idea of the positives/negatives.

Watch this space...!

Stereotypes, perceptions & assumptions....the mother of all f***-ups

One thing I keep re-learning as I get older is that stereotypes and assumptions are never good - they block you from seeing what's really there, or understand what's really going on.  It's like you get some sort of mental block from reality.

People form stereotypes, or make assumptions, all the time - and it happens everywhere.  I see it when I'm driving, and the driver behind assumes I have the same intentions as him/her (discovered this on a frightening level recently, when I had to drive on a spare tyre with a maximum speed limit of 40mph for safety reasons - I even had lorries swerving out at the last minute, when there was nothing else on the road and they could clearly see me from a mile off, with them frantically flashing their lights as if to say "move out the way" and I'm thinking "I can't go any faster, you're gaining on me like there's no tomorrow and you want me to move?!?").  I also see it at work, when a colleague reacts in some weird way if a patient discloses they have schizophrenia (they become so wary, as if they've just been put in a cage with a hungry lion) because they assume, no thanks to the media, that all schizophrenics are knife-wielding lunatics.

Sneezing, sniffles, coughing....? Winter is on it's way!

Well September is here already - almost can't believe it, except I've managed to catch a cold already!

Colds are horrid things - they're (usually) not serious enough to warrant medical intervention, but you can be stuck with one for weeks.  They make you feel miserable, with all the coughing/sneezing/runny nose, and the thing that drives me mad is you just have to wait it out.

I do have a coping strategy though - I stock up on my vitamins/minerals, drink plenty of water & fruit juice, rest as much as I can and aim for healthy & wholesome foods.  Whether they work or not (and I believe they do) is only part of the story - I also do it to make myself feel better.  And I think that's usually half the battle - when you're ill, trying to stay positive is really hard work so I try to focus on doing the little things that help.

So I figured today would be a good day to get started on my cold-busting tactics.  I stopped off at the health shop earlier to get my vitamin C + zinc, anti-viral tissues, antibacterial hand gel and for some reason, lentils.  I don't know why, but I always reach for lentils when I'm feeling sick - and today's choice was puy.

My mind power is running pretty low at the moment, so rather than try to invent something new I had a quick search for recipes that inspired me.  Two main ingredients were on my search list - eggs (because I have plenty and want to use them) and of course the puy lentils.  And this is what I settled on:

The Joys of Miracle Dieting

I've noticed recently that I've been getting a lot of followers on Twitter that I guess you could say fit into the "spam" category - when you look on their profile, all their tweets are just marketing links to some miracle diet or weight loss tool, where they claim you can lose 10+ lbs a week.....my reaction? Yeah right!

Let's be honest, if a person suddenly started losing that amount of weight in a week without extreme conditions (ie. an athlete in intensive-training mode) to explain it, they'd be making an appointment to see their GP wouldn't they?  Because extreme weight loss is generally an indication that there could be something seriously wrong.

So why on earth do these companies/individuals market products that actively promote extreme weight loss? It's certainly not healthy, but it preys on those who are feeling self-conscious about their image and maybe actively trying to lose weight.  I got all these followers after tweeting about how I'd lost a few pounds recently through doing Zumba...but guess what, marketers/spammers - you picked the wrong person, because I don't believe in miracle pills or magic fad diets, I know they don't work, and I will go out of my way to make sure everyone else knows it!

Screw Fad Diets, Do What You Want!

Having a bit of an "off day" today - slept late, don't feel inclined to do any of the housework I'd planned on doing...and I've decided it's a Comfort Food kinda day.

Pic sourced from resourcefulcook.com

Not really decided what comfort food I actually want - but it's blustery, grey weather outside, so thinking along the lines of either egg & chips (I have an Actifry - so the chips are pretty much as healthy as I can get them!) or perhaps baked potatoes with cheesy beans (and a few drops of Tabasco for my spice fix).  And it led me back to the conversation I had with the person who upset me a couple of days ago - about what "eating right" entails.  They think that to be fit & healthy, you have to be at the gym 7 days a week and live off salad....but to me, that's way off the mark.  Where do you get all the different nutrients your body needs?  You need proteins, carbs, vitamins, minerals, fats....and you can't really get all that if you live off nothing but lettuce-based meals!

My Anger Monkey

Do you ever have days where everything just makes you angry?  I do.  I get angry to the point of bursting into tears, because my anger is so overwhelming that inside I feel like throwing a tantrum, but I know that would be socially unacceptable for a 31-year-old woman...

The Gift of the Mind

I've been thinking a lot about mental health recently.  I mean, I started this blog as a way for me to document my progress in all things healthy - but when you say to someone the words "fit and healthy" they usually imagine the more physical side.  I know I do at times - and that's coming from someone who has battled depression and anxiety since I was a teenager.

There have been a few things recently that I've found thought-provoking.  The main one is a mental health blog I've recently started reading (purplepersuasion), with 2 excellent pieces - 1 on ten things not to say to a depressed person, and the 2nd is the upside with ten supportive things people have said.  Both are well worth reading, and give a helpful insight for anyone who has perhaps not experienced mental illness themselves.

The others have been mostly incidents I've experienced or witnessed at work.  I work at an emergency NHS dental clinic at weekends and evenings, and we generally tend to encounter a lot of patients who would probably be fondly classified by the current government (as they are wont to do) as those who have "fallen through the cracks" - the ones who aren't registered with medical practitioners and are less inclined to look after themselves, for 1 reason or another.  And some of these patients suffer from mental illness.  I have personally witnessed several of my colleagues change dramatically and start acting "cagey" if a patient has disclosed that they have a mental illness, especially if it is schizophrenia.  There was a patient today that we couldn't even see, due to a busy waiting room that would cause unknown amounts of stress to an already anxious person suffering from paranoia.  And seeing these things makes me sad - sad that there is still so much stigma and misconceptions about mental illness that even some healthcare workers don't know how to act, and sad that we're not in a position to adapt to help those that so badly need it.

Beware the Hormonal Woman!

My emotions have been all over the place today.  Actually scrap that - not just today, it's been all week.  I feel like a friggin pregnant lady, just without the baby!

I think it's my hormones & my cycles causing this horrid mood - PCOS has a lot to answer for, let me tell you!  I went to the docs today, to enquire about going back on the pill in an attempt to regulate my cycles and reduce my PMS symptoms, but the appointment didn't go very well.  Firstly, the doc was over 20 mins late in seeing me - and she is a doc who will not hesitate to chastise you for being 2 mins late for an appointment - and it meant I was already anxious cos it only left me 10 minutes to discuss options with her, get home, get changed for the gym and actually make it to zumba.  So, doc calls me in and I straight away say that cos she's so late I won't have time to stay very long and she doesn't even bother with an apology....or even seem to remember me from my previous appointments (of which I've had about a gazillion of them with her, and pretty recent too) or what's going on.

Just when you think you're getting there...

...you find yourself struggling again.  I've been doing Zumba regularly (2 times a week) for a month now, and some classes I find easier than others.  I've even started building in a swimming session, to try and up my fitness levels, but lately I feel like I've been hitting the wall a lot.

Maybe it's a combination of things - my sleeping pattern has been out of whack recently (which I partly blame on having a lack of routine - I only work 5 shifts a month and uni broke up a couple of months ago for the summer, so most days I don't actually have much to do) and it's been so annoyingly humid that I just can't seem to get any air.  The lack of routine thing I mentioned is also playing havoc on my eating habits, so at the moment I'm finding that I'm either going to classes on an empty stomach and surviving off an energy drink for the hour-long sessions, or I've not quite timed my cooking right and haven't allowed long enough for my food to digest before working out.  So that means I either lack the energy to push through an hour of Zumba, or else my stomach feels so full and heavy that I have to take it down a level or 2 to avoid those awful cramps or nausea waves.  Neither is a good option, let me tell you!

Zumba!

Ok, so I know I've already mentioned zumba in a previous post, but tonight I went to my second-ever zumba class and it's definitely a sure thing.

The crowd tonight was different - for starters, there was about 30 more women there tonight compared to the Monday morning class I tried - and I was worried about "fitting in" cos these women all looked like regular gym-goers... but as soon as the music started I quickly realised that it didn't matter, cos nobody had perfected the moves and there were still a few newcomers.  And I was glad to see I wasn't the only one getting all hot and sweaty - loads of women around me were exactly the same.

The issue with fertility...

...is that you never even think about it until it becomes an issue.  And there are seemingly 2 extremes to the fertility scale - there are those who fall pregnant if someone so much as sneezes near them at 1 end, and there are those who do all the right things and yet never successfully conceive at the other.

If I'm honest, even though I've had moments throughout the last few years where I've wanted to get on board the baby train, my fertility has never come under scrutiny.  I told myself that it's unlikely to be a walk in the park, based on the experiences with my female relatives, but never thought until now that there might be a serious problem.  And yet, here I am, facing the possibility that I might have PCOS and other hormonal problems...

Note to self: step class is not for those returning to fitness!!

Well as the title says, I tried out a step aerobics class tonight.  Was feeling so positive after zumba yesterday, and felt confident that with all my years of step class when I was younger I'd be able to get into it without too much difficulty... wrong!

I could pick up most of the steps ok, but the instructor taking the class didn't seem to take account of the varying levels of fitness within the class. 

The start of a new leaf!

I go through phases of wanting to get fit & healthy - so naturally I start going to the gym, changing my diet (I don't believe in diets per se - any changes I make are done with the intention of a longer-lasting effect, rather than some fad diet) but my attention span is so short that I lose interest too quickly and fall back into old habits!

This time around, I want to make it stick - mainly because now I'm in my thirties I've noticed I can't just eat what I like and do what I like without having to face the consequences!  I'm lucky enough to still remember what it was like in my late teens/early twenties - no matter what I ate (and I've always had a good appetite) I could literally walk it off, and never had to take part in planned physical activities to stay in shape.